freakin precoucious middle school bastards. I'm angry because I can't do anything cool and I lose at chess to 8 year old girls and I can never learn martial arts.
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I'm Brittany's whore. what more do you want to know?
2. Those girls must be little nerds to beat the all powerful David in Chess
3. Just go river-rafting in Japan, fall overboard, hit your head on a rock, survive, wash up downstream where an old fart with a huge beard will nurse you back to health, find out that he's a kung fu master or s*** like that, get him to teach you or else you'll tell the world there's a martial arts hermit/master living at so-and-so a place, come back after everyone thought you were dead, make headline news for about a week for turning up out of nowhere, go to a dojo and challenge every student there, then when the master comes in, beat him, and then BAM!! You get your own dojo AND become a martial arts master in the process.