that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?

that narcolepsy can strike at any ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Did you know...

that air guitars are similar in shape to normal guitars, with the notable difference that they are made entirely out of air?

What is What

WHAT should not be confused with the w-Hat (pronounced wu-hat) which is a Hat which removes significant organs, or the WHAT (Western Honky Ass Territory) aka the KKK. 'What' should not be taken for granted. This gift in the English language is a priceless word whose origins come from "Vista" which means Chicken. What can only be freely used during sexual intercourse, where a question is upheld on the gender of the partner. Example: " You: So are you a girl? Partner: Im a she-wolf. You: What? " This is the only reasonable use of such a powerful word. What comes right before **** in the coptic alphabet.

September 12: Captain Picard Appreciation Day

• 14,000 BC - Q sends the crew of the USS Enterprise-E back in time to the country of France. Spitting in the face of the Prime Directive once again, Picard teaches the cavemen how to paint on the walls, a trait still exhibited in toddlers.
• 490 BC - A Greek guy runs 42.195 km from Marathon to Athens, announcing the Persian defeat and survival of Western civilization. Unfortunately, he is overtaken in the last leg by the team from Kenya and has a heart attack.
• 22 - Museum of Ancient Geese opens
• 1609 - Mark Smith discovers the Hudson River. Shortly after the discovery, Henry Hudson stabs him and claims it for himself. This is generally considered the fifth greatest coincidence of all time.
• 1683 - Battle of Vienna - Several European armies join forces to defeat the Ottoman Empire and their allies, the Sultanate of Sofa.
• 1818 - Richard Gatling, inventor of the gatling gun, is born. By six he has invented a rapid-fire slingshot and by ten, a BB gun featuring a rotating array of twelve barrels.
• 1940 - Q sends a young Jean-Luc Picard and three of his high school peeps back in time to this date. The group discovers the Lascaux cave paintings.
• 1951 - Anti-rioting technology goes on display in Paris. Rioting ensues.
• 1984 - Leonard Bernstein dies for the second time.
• 1989 - The sexiest girl in the world was born.
• 1990 - East and West Germany share a tearful Reunion
• 1991 - The Cold War ends, and many people are left thinking, "it wasn't that cold". It was that cold in Russia.
• 1997 - This was an actual year??
• 2001 - Amnesiacs International select the World Trade Center in New York City as the site of their 2002 convention.
• 2003 - Johnny Cash passes away. But first he shoots a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
• 2006 - End of the world according to The House of Yahweh, how could they know?!
• 2007 - End of the world according to The House of Yahweh, how could they know?!
• 2008 - End of the world according to The House of Yahweh, how could they know?!
• 2101 - War was beginning...
• 2320 - Young Jean-Luc Picard discovers the family wine cellar, and becomes extremely drunk. He wakes up the next morning in a bed with a hairy East German named Helga.
• 2335 - Picard does the Picard Techno which is then smuggled to the past and put on Youtube, to many Trekies delight.
• 2355 - Riker gets Picard a tie to show his appreciation. What a brown noser.
• 2356.4 - George Orwell issues a writ against Captain Picard for stealing material from his clip show "I love the 1984s", presented by Zoe Ball.
• 2356 - Captain Picard discovers that his sewing machine is broken, and tells engineering, "Make it sew!".
• 2358 -Picard orders a set of Halogen lights from Ikea, but discovers upon opening that while there are supposed to be five lights, there are only four.
• 2366 - Capitan Picard arrest and executes Han Solo under charges of spice smuggling
• 2596 - Planned rebellion against AI fails due to the fact that AI's supreme knowledge found out...